I have a Family class this semester for my minor and it is an excellent class. The textbook we use is entitled Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family by David C. Dollahite.
This engrossing textbook I plan on keeping it for the rest of my life. Or at least until I can hand it down to someone to be used. The best books should be used over and over and over again and be studied, and written in, and marked, and much thought put into it.
It is fascinating, this book. Recently we just studied a chapter entitled "Valuing, Preserving, and Transmitting Family Traditions" which is Chapter 23. But how interesting this chapter is!
The textbook defined what traditions are: “Traditions” are defined as beliefs and practices enacted to repeatedly from generation to generation and taught by face-to-face contact within small groups (314).
Susan Abel Lieberman said, "Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world."
Family traditions give each family an identity, both extended families and nuclear families. There are traditions that are handed down from parent to child and parent to child, as a result, the cousins, aunts, uncles, etc all have bits and pieces of the same traditions. But each nuclear family has their own unique traditions as well. Two people from different families, with different traditions, come together and pick and choose which traditions they wish to continue from both sides of the family. Then they create new traditions that better define who they are as their own family. The traditions express a shared interest in most cases.
There are seven issues related to the creation and perpetuation of family traditions:
1. Distinguish between good and bad traditions
2. Encourage a unique family style
3. Be selective and creative in fashioning new traditions
4. Be inclusive
5. Be service-oriented
6. Foster storytelling
7. Nurture natural traditions
Number 1:
There are many traditions that we can develop in our lives that will not better ourselves or our posterity. Some traditions can actually be a hinderance to growth and progression. When we create our own traditions for our families, perhaps they are the best we can do at that point in time, but in the next generation children will only add upon the foundation of the traditions you have taught. If they are positive traditions and leading in the right direction, usually the traditions added on to the former will be even better. Having the best traditions now create the greatest traditions later. But it goes the other way around too. Bad traditions are added upon. Obviously, children have agency and they will choose their own way, but when you raise them with certain traditions they will remember them.
Number 2:
There are many traditions that are held among many families, but it is possible to have a common tradition become very specialized to your family. For example, many families have prayer. But where they hold family prayer can give meaning. Or a certain treat made and eaten only at Easter/Christmas.
Number 3:
Traditions should be adapted from the families of both spouses. It'll encourage a healthy new family unit verses favoring one side of the family over the other.
Number 4:
When creating new traditions the variety of interests and ability of family members must be taken into account so they help build closer family relationships.
Number 5:
"Performing service as a family is one of the best ways to perform service within the family" (314). Having a tradition that serves others on a yearly or monthly or weekly basis instills in the children habits of service that will be perfected as they mature.
Number 6:
Telling storys about ancestors or relatives creates unity between the generations and strengthen family relationships. In my family my mother frequently tells us stories about her siblings, her parents, her aunts and uncles, her grandparents, my cousins... and as a result, even though we live so far away from them all and my great-grandparents have passed on, I feel like I really know each of them and family reunions are always so much fun. "Sharing the stories of daily experiences, both humorous and difficult, encourages a sense of common experience that also units families – sometimes over generations" (314).
Number 7:
"Traditions that are unrelated to actual family life often feel forced and uncomfortable; with good reason, theses are the least likely customs to be continued" (314). Many family traditions grow out of things that are already done: game playing, celebrating holidays, eating, working, traveling, singing together, etc.
We should also be recording these traditions down.
Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander has said, “That which I do not in some way record will be lost at my death, and that which I do not pass on to my posterity, they will never have. The work of gathering and sharing eternal family keepsakes is a personal responsibility. It cannot be passed off or given to another.”
Also, President Spencer W. Kimball has said, “Let us then continue on in this important work of recording the things we do, the things we say, the things we think, to be in accordance with the instructions of the Lord. For those of you who may not have already started your books of remembrance and your records, we would suggest that this very day you begin to write your records quite fully and completely.”
Journals, scrapbooks, etc are not just for thoughts, experiences, events, memories, although those are very good things to write down. But they are also for writing down traditions you have and the purposes behind that tradition. That way, several generations down, if someone wishes to know the reason why they do a certain thing, then it is understood. In my class one girl brought of the matter that her mother would always cut off the ends of the roast for Thanksgiving dinner. Her daughter asked her why she did that, because it was perfectly good meat, and she said she didn't know, that it's what her mother had always done. So she when to her mother and asked her why she cut off the ends. The reason? It wouldn't fit in the pot otherwise. Traditions and their purpose should be written down so others can choose to continue or discontinue or revive a tradition.
Here are a few articles:
Preserving Your Family Traditions
Creating Family Traditions
I'm sure there are tons of other articles you could research if you wish too.
So, Question.
What are some of your favorite family traditions?
