I've given Advice To Fiancées and the Phase 2 of Wedding Letters: The Thank You Cards. But now that I'm finally married to a wonderful man and more settled into my life, I thought I would share a few things I've learned.
Before arriving at your home, make sure the utilities are on and working. It depends on the deal you have with the owners, if you are paying utilities yourself or not, but make sure the water, electricity, gas, and plumbing are on. Make sure you have garbage services as well. This way, when you arrive, you can get a drink of water and anything else as needed.
The first thing to do upon your arrival in your new home is to buy a new mattress. This way, if nothing else, you have a place to sleep at the end of your first day settling in. Hopefully, you and your spouse have already gone to different mattress stores to get an idea of what you wanted and how much it would cost. As newlyweds, you generally receive a nice amount of cash that could help purchase the mattress you desire. I would recommend looking at outlet stores where the mattresses are brand new, but have a random dent or something that cuts down the prices several hundred dollars.
You don't have to unpack everything immediately. Sometimes you don't have a place for things yet. For example, a dresser or hangers for your clothes. It's okay to still use your suitcase of stuff. Don't feel rushed. You'll get there. Just do what you can each day.
Make sure to go to Deseret Industries (D.I.) or the thrift store every day. They don't put out all the good furniture all at once. They only let items out little by little. My husband and I went every day and sometimes multiple times a day and eventually had good quality, matching couches, a coffee table, a dining table, a dresser, a side table, and matching chairs. As newlyweds, you probably won't be staying in one place for long, so I'd recommend these kinds of stores so that you don't feel terrible about leaving needing to sell it. But be patient. You don't have to feel like you have to buy a couch immediately because it's the best one of the options. If you don't like it, wait. Consider: would you rather have a couch you like or would you rather have a place to sit now? It took about two weeks before we finally found couches we liked for a relatively inexpensive cost. We just sat on the floor.
Look at the benefits and costs of everything, consider it, and then make a decision. We didn't have internet for the first couple of weeks. I know of some apartments where that is included in the rent, but we needed to get our own. We (my husband, because I didn't understand it) looked at different internet providers for our area and compared costs. He called them to see exactly what the cost would be for where we live with the plan we desired. We discussed wether we wanted to not have internet at all and go on campus to use it or pay a certain amount for that coverage. We continued to think about it for a few days. We considered going to our neighbors as splitting the cost. After we made a decision, my husband called and it just so happened they had a promotion where we ended up getting it for cheaper per month than we were expecting. Don't wait too long to get something, but take the time to consider and discuss.
Intentionally create habits and traditions that will help you and your spouse to have the home environment you desire. I'm a Marriage and Family Studies major at BYU-Idaho and one of the things we constantly study is the power of habits and traditions. Habits and traditions will be formed even when you don't think about it. But choose to be intention with the habits you and your spouse do right away. My husband and I have a habit of saying "I love you" as one of us leaves. We have a habit of making sure we spend a meal together. With your spouse, sit down together and think about the home you desire to have. Think of the kind of environment you eventually want to raise children in. You begin building that environment the day your married. So think of daily things you can do together to create the environment you want to have.
Now, this last one will sound a little odd, but buy the book entitled And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment by Laura M. Brotherson. She is an LDS author and gaining her master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. She knows what she's talking about. This book helps parents speak to their children and helps spouses understand each other and become closer. I highly recommend it to all married couples, but particularly the Latter-day Saint community. She brings in the gospel to this wonderful topic. I also recommend reading "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments" given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in 1988.
These are just a few of the things I learned through my experiences that might be of benefit for the newlyweds or soon-to-be newlyweds to consider.
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