This past unit was entitled “Eternal Truths” but I believe that I learned more than just eternal truths. I learned that everything has something to do with the family. That my perspective on life should not be me, mine, and I but rather on family. Why am I going to school? Family. Why do I want a job? Family. Why do I save and organize my finances? Family. Why is church important? Family. I knew that my generation was self-centered, but I never knew how much so until I read Sister Julie B. Beck’s “Teaching the Doctrine of the Family”.
Forming families is a faith-based work where we must do the best we can and trust in the Lord, turning to Him for our daily help. Early in the semester, I was sitting at the table with my roommates and I learned that one of my roommates has divorced parents and that another has a mom and dad who are together in marriage, but are waiting until their kids are older for a divorce. That just makes me sad and heartbroken for them. They said how they felt it was their fault, even though they knew it wasn’t. They are a “product” of the union between their parents, but since that union is not working let’s separate, but the “product” no longer knows where her place is. Hearing personal accounts of marriage failures, it was stronger than hearing of statistics. My two roommates say they are going to wait awhile before getting married. They want to make sure it is the right guy and that it will last. They are afraid. I don’t blame them. But it brings a whole new understanding the marriage and building families is a Faith-based work.
I also loved the Triangle illustration to explain that the focus in any marriage is not self nor your spouse, but rather God. And as both sides work hard and gain a relationship with God and keep the covenants her or she made, the relationship between the husband and the wife become closer than ever before. That is certainly something to strive for. It also would help in recognizing that you do not worship your spouse, nor should you expect your spouse to worship you. But that together you should worship God and remember Him in your daily life as you raise children or deal with financial struggles and any other woes that could be prevalent. Marriage and Family is a Faith-based work.
Here is a parable from Elder Boyd K. Packer: “Once a man received as his inheritance two keys. The first key, he was told, would open a vault which he must protect at all cost. The second key was to a safe within the vault which contained a priceless treasure. He was to open this safe and freely use the precious things which were stored therein. He was warned that many would seek to rob him of his inheritance. He was promised that if he used the treasure worthily, it would be replenished and never be diminished, not in all eternity. He would be tested. If he used it to benefit others, his own blessings and joy would increase.
“The man went alone to the vault. His first key opened the door. He tried to unlock the treasure with the other key, but he could not, for there were two locks on the safe. His key alone would not open it. No matter how he tried, he could not open it. He was puzzled. He had been given the keys. He knew the treasure was rightfully his. He had obeyed instructions, but he could not open the safe.
“In due time there came a woman into the vault. She too held a key. It was noticeably different from the key he held. Her key fit the other lock. It humbled him to learn that he could not obtain his rightful inheritance without her.
“They made a covenant that together they would open the treasure and, as instructed, he would watch over the vault and protect it; she would watch over the treasure. She was not concerned that, as guardian of the vault, he held two keys, for his full purpose was to see that she was safe as she watched over that which was most precious to them both. Together they opened the safe and partook of their inheritance. They rejoiced, for, as promised, it replenished itself.
“With great joy they found that they could pass the treasure on to their children; each could receive a full measure, undiminished to the last generation.
“Perhaps some few of their posterity would not find a companion who possessed the complementary key, or one worthy and willing to keep the covenants relating to the treasure. Nevertheless, if they kept the commandments, they would not be denied even the smallest blessing.
“Because some tempted them to misuse their treasure, they were careful to teach their children about keys and covenants.
“There came, in due time, among their posterity some few who were deceived or jealous or selfish because one was given two keys and another only one. ‘Why,’ the selfish ones reasoned, ‘cannot the treasure be mine alone to use as I desire?’
“Some tried to reshape the key they had been given to resemble the other key. Perhaps, they thought, it would then fit both locks. And so it was that the safe was closed to them. Their reshaped keys were useless, and their inheritance was lost.
“Those who received the treasure with gratitude and obeyed the laws concerning it knew joy without bounds through time and all eternity.”
I thought this was such a great parable and helped me to understand the plan that God has for us. Bruce C. Hafen’s “How We Lost the Plot” caused me to think more upon the differences of self-interest and having an interest in families and communities. A definition for interest is “a stake, share, or involvement in an undertaking.” No matter what we have an interest in self, family, and community, but if we ignore our share of it, if we do not properly prioritize and work in it, it is possible for it to fail. When one believes that the starting and ending of a marriage is just a personal choice, one is less likely to think of one’s marriage as a serious social or moral obligation. Marriage and family is the beginning of community. A foundation for much. If it is lost and broken, it does not just affect the husband and wife, but the children, the community, and it has a rippling effect. Seeing marriage as Eternal puts an entire new perspective for much of the world. An Eternal Marriage, one based in God, one made with covenants to God, how likely would you brake a marriage when focusing on the real reason for it? Yes, marriage is hard. It requires work. But don’t give up. It’s worth it.
