Past and Future

2012

Such a significant year for me where a lot of really great moments happened.

• BJ and I officially started dating in January.
• We both were blessed with wonderful friendships and roommates.
• BJ proposed April 12 during Spring Break.
• My soon-to-be-husband met most of my extended family on both my father's and mother's side.
• I met much of his extended family.
• August, we were married and sealed for all time and eternity in the Oquirrh Mountain Utah Temple.
• August, I also saw Les Misérables for the first time at the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City, Utah.
• We moved into our first home together August.
• My brother was able live nearby for a semester as he attended BYU-Idaho.
• In General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson announced that young women can serve missions at 19 years and young men at 18 years. My brother turned in his mission papers and was called to serve in the Utah Salt Lake City South Mission.
• BJ and I had our first Thanksgiving together and I cooked my first turkey!
• I experienced my first snow of the season (I'm a Cali girl. I used to only show up at school after it was also on the ground).
• BJ and I had our first Christmas together. We had our first Christmas tree. We made homemade ornaments. I cooked my first ham and with a perfect glaze, and created an altogether awesome first Christmas dinner.
• It was also my first White Christmas ever.

2013

This year, a lot of exciting things are going to occur! I'm so excited for them!

• My brother reports to the Provo MTC January 1st.
• The snow will eventually melt and the weather will eventually get warmer.
• I'll graduate BYU-Idaho.
• My husband and I will have our first anniversary.
• My brother-in-law will return from his mission in Southern California.
• My other brother, serving in the South Carolina Columbia Mission, will return home after two years on the other side of the country.

My husband and I have had a great year. We've gone a total of 5 days the entire year of not seeing each other for the whole day (it helps that he lived right across the parking lot and that Rexburg, ID is rather small). We survived the end of the world together. I have a partner in life aiming for the same goals for our family. I'll have him as my husband for eternity; we won't ever lose each other. We had a really blessed year.

We are looking forward to our first year together as a married couple. We are excited for every day and the gifts each day reveals to us. We are so blessed.

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you make it the best year yet.

A Girl's Lesson: The Worth of Men

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Female and Male. I'm an advocate for both. I believe in equal opportunity and being equal in our differences. We are all God's children and posses our individual right to choose good from bad; as such, we are all equal before God regardless of gender, of physical or mental difficulties, of nationality, of heritage, etc.

Men are taught to respect women, to charish them, to protect them. Many people of the world, sadly, think that such a man who takes his divine responsibilities seriously–presiding in love and righteousness  and providing the necessities of life and protection–are rare. They think that men who are courteous and kind, helpful and serviceable are either trying to be self-serving or deceiving. I want to share with you that I have met men who are genuinely caring, sacrificing, and responsible.

Principles of a Successful Marriage and Family

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The other day, I was wondering if my little family consisting of my husband and myself have implemented the principles mentioned in the above quote. Do we have habits fostering these principles?

Personal Progress Project

I know I'm no longer in the Young Women's program for the girls 12-18 years old. In fact, I'm even married now! My married student ward doesn't even have young women; so I don't even have an opportunity to serve with them. While I was in Young Women's, I had completed Personal Progress and earned my medallion.

Here's a video that was even put together by my mother and shown at my YW's Recognition:

In the year before I graduated, the new Young Women's value "Virtue" was added and a little insert was given to include in the Personal Progress booklet. Eventually, they published a new Personal Progress booklet including the new value both in the YW theme and as another thing to complete. They even slightly changed some of the experiences to complete, included True to the Faith as a resource. Even the medallion looked new! They added a red gem to the necklace.

Married: Now what?

I've given Advice To Fiancées and the Phase 2 of Wedding Letters: The Thank You Cards. But now that I'm finally married to a wonderful man and more settled into my life, I thought I would share a few things I've learned.

Before arriving at your home, make sure the utilities are on and working. It depends on the deal you have with the owners, if you are paying utilities yourself or not, but make sure the water, electricity, gas, and plumbing are on. Make sure you have garbage services as well. This way, when you arrive, you can get a drink of water and anything else as needed.

The first thing to do upon your arrival in your new home is to buy a new mattress. This way, if nothing else, you have a place to sleep at the end of your first day settling in. Hopefully, you and your spouse have already gone to different mattress stores to get an idea of what you wanted and how much it would cost. As newlyweds, you generally receive a nice amount of cash that could help purchase the mattress you desire. I would recommend looking at outlet stores where the mattresses are brand new, but have a random dent or something that cuts down the prices several hundred dollars.

You don't have to unpack everything immediately. Sometimes you don't have a place for things yet. For example, a dresser or hangers for your clothes. It's okay to still use your suitcase of stuff. Don't feel rushed. You'll get there. Just do what you can each day.

Phase 2 of Wedding Letters: The Thank You Cards

I've been working on Thank You cards in response to the wedding gifts my husband and I have received a few months ago. There has been a few things I realized while I've been working on them that I wish to share with those who aren't quite sure what to do for Thank You cards.

1. Don't rush. You want the person receiving the card to know how much you appreciate them and their gift. Time is one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone. Take time on each card. Don't try to get them done in a short amount of time.
2. Be sincere and honest. My husband and I loved all of our gifts. Occasionally we had duplicates of things, but we were so grateful to have too many than to not have one at all. When thanking the person for their gift, really mean it. Find something you love about every gift and mention it to the person who gave it to you. For example, "I just wanted to say how grateful we are for the colander you gave us! We've love using it for our pasta nights or quickly rising vegetables for a stew. Thank you so much." Don't make up a fake reason why you are thankful for it; it reads falsely, and you want to show your sincere thanks to someone.
3. Thank them for who they are, not just what they gave you. This takes longer, which is why time is valuable. It can be hard to know all of your guests. But call your parents and your in-laws. Ask them for some basic information on those you don't know. Mention your gratitude for their presence in your life, in your spouse's life, in your parents' lives, in your siblings' lives, and why. Thank them for always being cheerful. Or always having an open home. Or guiding you. Or being a wonderful example. Etc. Make it personal. Express your gratitude for them.
4. Handwrite them. It doesn't have to be much. Write three or four sentences. But write them by hand. It expresses more of the time you were willing to give to really thank them for what they gave you.

My favorite part of writing these cards is the response I receive from them. "I wanted to send her a thank you card for the thank you card." You can brighten someone's day if you take the time and opportunity. And that, well, it brightens your own.

Advice To Fiancées

I'm getting married in 22 days. As I'm sure many of you that are married or engaged have realized, the wedding date is very apt at sneaking upon you like a lightening-fast ninja. I've been blessed enough in my own life to have had a little over three months from the moment I was engaged to the date of our wedding.

In my engagement time period, I've had numerous friends who have also gotten engaged or are on the verge of doing so. Having friends riding in a parallel engagement boat as you is a relief; my own little support group. That's what I think the world needs, support groups for fiancées and fiancés. It's helped so much. Each couple have discovered knowledge and tips about the process of getting married and share it so we all benefit. It works especially well when all the couples are in the same location during the engagement, even if they are getting married in different states.

You know how I mentioned that I have friends at the very beginning stages of being engaged? Well, these friends are starting to freak out (totally reasonable) and know that since I was a totally rational person during my own engagement (not), I've found they've come to me for information and wisdom, as if I knew all there is to know about being engaged.

Let me warn you now that I am no such source. Yes, I have definite experience in this area, but only for myself. I have no idea how helpful it would be to others. While this information will hopefully be helpful to all brides-to-be, it's more towards brides-to-be that are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

But I'll share with you what I've discovered in hopes that it helps.

Ether 6

The past few days I've been thinking about how light is always in connection to God and his people. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been told over and over again that we are to shine forth.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, a man of God I truly love and miss, said:

In Memory of Alandra

My 1st year with my JC Alandra at Girl's Camp 2003 at Camp Liahona. 

I turned 12 years old in June of 2003. I was so excited. It meant I was all grown up and was in Young Women's. I was the only girl from my ward turning 12 that year. So I was kinda scared. All the other girls were so much more grown up than I was. Even though I thought was grown up, I wasn't really grown up, and I knew that.

However, in my journal I wrote:

"I'm in Young Women's now. I got a lot of things. I got 5 letters, got door bell ditched with candy. I love it."

I was so grateful. It made me feel so welcomed and loved. I was only 12 and wasn't very good at recording information that would be nice to know later, such as who it was that wrote me or dropped off the candy, but as a general shout-out to all the young women and young women's leaders of the time: Thank you, it meant a lot.

It was July 21, 2003 when I arrived at my first year of Girl's Camp. I was so frightened. I didn't know anyone my age. "Not one of them go to my school," I wrote. However, I remember being so grateful that my Junior Counselor (JC) was Alandra Neilson. She was a 5th year. Which means she was about 4 years older than I was. She seemed like she was already grown up, especially from my perspective, but I was so grateful to have a familiar face in my group. Because I honestly knew no one and I knew her a little bit because she was from my ward.

Girl's Camp 2003 at Camp Liahona. My 1st year with my group.

That year at Girl's Camp was so wonderful to me. Alandra just gather all of us little first years under her arm and made life so fun for us. That was the year that our little group had JIF, the peanut butter, as our mascot. I don't know how many of you remember that year of craziness. But that was my group led by Alandra, who we just love. We did this one skit where we were acting as poor little first years (which we were) and pretended we didn't know about the purposes of peanut butter. One girl scooped up some peanut butter and was like: "I think this is shampoo!" and then would put it in her hair. Another girl used it as deodorant. Another as shaving cream. etc. I used is as toothpaste. Well, Alandra would then come around and say: "Silly, that's not what it's used for!" She scooped it off each of us, slapped it on a piece of bread and said, "This is what it's used for!" and ate it. We were all so grossed out. lol. But I don't think anyone, even myself, realized at how influential she was.

She was the one who had us be so outrageous that I was comfortable in being myself. Perviously, I was very reserved and quiet until I became comfortable. But she caused me so be so crazy so quickly, that I could be normal. I don't know if that quite makes sense. But that's what happened and I am soooo thankful. I honestly believe that my initial year of Girl's Camp set the tones to all the following years. I tried to be like Alandra. I tried to make every girl comfortable and have an enjoyable experience at Girl's Camp. I tried to make sure each younger girl from my ward had a great time by going around and seeing how they were, saying hi whenever I saw them.

I clearly remember my own 5th year when I was a JC at Girl's Camp. I was also put in charge of a group of girls and one of them was the only girl of her year from my homeward. I tried so hard to be for her and the other girls what Alandra was for me. She made me a true part of Girl's Camp. She was so creative. Honestly, that takes talent. I mean, being able to come up with ideas for ditties or skits. Alandra was soo good at that! I really wished I had her number on a phone and could have reached her from Girl's Camp just so I could have some ideas. Her advice would have been so beneficial.

At the end of every day while at Girl's Camp, we are given a little devotional from our JC. I don't remember what it was that Alandra shared, but I do remember really thinking. I remember thinking how great Girl's Camp was that we learned more about the principles of the gospel every day.

When I came home after that week, I knew every song sung at Girl's Camp and could act them out. I knew where everything was. All thanks to Alandra.

Ever since then I felt as though we were really good friends. I remember one of the first times I went to the Single's Branch in 2009, Alandra went with me.


I'm going to miss her terribly.

Until we meet again Alandra.


The services are on Saturday, June 9th at 11am at the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints building located at 4300 Dale Rd in Modesto.

Alandra Mae Neilson's Obituary is located here.

Girl's Camp 2004 at Treasure Mountain. My 2nd year.

We have a perfect hope in God and know that all people who have died will be resurrected through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. All. 

But I'm going to miss her horribly in the meantime.

"And because of the way of deliverance of our God, the Holy One of Israel, this death, of which I have spoken, which is the temporal, shall deliver up its dead; which death is the grave.

"And this death of which I have spoken, which is the spiritual death, shall deliver up its dead; which spiritual death is hell; wherefore, death and hell must deliver up their dead, and hell must deliver up its captive spirits, and the grave must deliver up its captive bodies, and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel" (2 Nephi 9:11-12).

"But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

"He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death" (Mosiah 16:8-9).

"Now, behold, I have spoken unto you concerning the death of the mortal body, and also concerning the resurrection of the mortal body. I say unto you that this mortal body is raised to an immortal body, that is from death, even from the first death unto life, that they can die no more; their spirits uniting with their bodies, never to be divided; thus the whole becoming spiritual and immortal, that they can no more see corruption" (Alma 11:45).

Supporting the Missionaries

I've mentioned it time and time again, but I love writing missionaries. I really hope that each of you write at least one missionary throughout his mission. Missionaries are special individuals who have been set apart for a period of time to share the Gospel. Receiving letters from missionaries picks up your spirit. They are so full of the gospel and they share their testimony with you and strengthen your own testimony.

I have a friend, Elder Ludwig, serving a mission in Japan who wrote me the following:

"I wish I could share with you all that I have learned and experienced on my mission. I think that would be impossible. I suppose the biggest thing would have to be love. I feel as though my capacity to love others, to show love, to be loved, and share it has grown dramatically. If only I could explain it. I have made eternal friends. I really, truly love my mission."

How can you not love missionaries? How can you not want to write them?

I'm keeping a blog for my brother, Elder Walker, and another of my friends, Elder Remington. (FYI, if you want to have a blog kept for your missionary, contact me). Then there is Elder Barton and Elder Burnham who have their own blog. I've also kept in touch and written all the missionaries that I know pretty well. It's so great to read what they write. They are always so spiritual. They are always learning. Always open to learning. I love writing them. Please, please write them. The missionary and yourself will be blessed. We are all to serve one another, and this is how I've best been able to serve and support our missionaries.

Boy and Girl enjoyed the beauty of spring break

BJ and I at the steps of the Salt Lake Temple

BJ and I left pretty late on the very last day of the semester. We arrived rather early in the morning. His family was kind enough to have a spare bedroom for me to stay in. The next day was Sunday, so we all went to church. It also happened to be Easter Sunday. It was awesome. I know I use that word a lot, but it really was. It was great. That night was dinner with the family. It was really great to have family around. It was interesting meeting up with them again as BJ and I were much more serious than we were at the beginning of the Winter Semester.

The next day we explored the new City Creek mall in Salt Lake City as I needed to go shopping anyways for clothes. BJ was kind enough to be dragged along and enjoyed it. One funny moment that reminded me a lot of what my dad would do: We were walking around the mall. We looked up at the ceiling or lack thereof, then BJ halts in his tracks, points up and says Look at that! I was thinking that it was something really unusual and rare, so did everyone around us. But it turned out to be the fascination he had with the fact that the ceiling was retractable. It really, really reminded me of something my dad would do. I love BJ. He's amazing you know. That even when I ask him to go shopping with me he enjoys it by finding things he enjoys. He makes me smile so much.

Finally, Together

BJ, his roommates and I bowling

It was time for me to return to Idaho for school. I had a friend coming out to California for a visit, so we drove back to Utah together on December 31st. On New Year's Day, BJ came and picked me up and I had Sunday dinner with him and his siblings. This was the second time I spent with them. The last time I saw them was back in July went I first met them. But that was at the beginning of this long period of time apart and this was after that break was over. And we still really liked each other. So it put a new spin on things. But they're such a great family and so welcoming. It was fabulous.

Together, for a time

BJ came out right before Thanksgiving. I have to say, I was really worried that for some reason I wouldn't recognize him, because I fail at recognizing people out of context. Seeing him in California was certainly going to be out of context for me. Luckily enough, when I saw him at the train station, it wasn't a problem. I knew him immediately.

We and my parents then explored Old Town Sacramento, ate late lunch and just wandered around. It was a lot of fun. Ironically, it was rather dreary outside and we Californians were a little chilled, but BJ seemed to hold up! Then home we went. He met the family.

My youngest brother took an immediate shine to BJ. One of my other brothers had just left on his mission the month prior. As a result, he was missing Ben and was really grateful to have BJ. I was just glad that he didn't say anything too embarrassing to BJ. I'm the eldest in my family, and none of my other siblings has yet to seriously date someone. Let alone had this individual come out to California to visit. I was worried that my family in general was going to be really odd. I didn't know how they were going to react. They were awesome though. I'm so blessed to have them as my family.

Girl went home, but technology is a wonderful blessing

I was back home in California. I'd go to a movie with my institute friends and I'd talk about BJ so much that a few of my friends thought I was a tad ridiculous. BJ and I would chat on Facebook all the time. These really long messages when we weren't online at the same time or we'd be typing away if we were both online. My sister would ask me to do something with her and I'd say, "Just a minute." A minute, 30, then an hour or two would go by, then I could go with her. Or I'd keep her up talking about him.

Once upon a time, a girl met a boy

BJ with the Home Evening Group at Applebee's.

I first saw him on a Monday night in my Home Evening group. None of my other roommates could make it. Luckily I knew one of my new FHE sisters because she had been my visiting teacher the semester before. For the activity we played "Just Dance" on the Wii. Just so you know, I have a very hard time playing that game in front of people I don't know well. So I was this seemingly quiet person. For those of you who know me well, I am generally kind've crazy. But I was acting like the shiest person alive. He sat on the other side of the room. He seemed a bit more reserved too, but he was really handsome. I was slightly interested in him. You know how it is. You see someone and you want to get to know that individual better. He just looked like a great guy to know. But I kept forgetting his name. I couldn't tell if it was PJ, BJ, TJ, or what his name was. I figured that I was going to have a chance to get to know him throughout the semester. I was certainly interested though.

Making Decisions

This last weekend was stake conference as I mentioned in my post "Your Next Best 2 Years." A member of my stake presidency gave us stages of life we go through. They remind me of Erik Erikson's stages, but definitely different.

From Birth to 8 years old is the Dispensation of Unaccountability.
From 8 to 15 years old is the Dispensation of Development.
From 15 to 35 years old is the Dispensation of Decisions.
From 35 years when their kids are grown up is the Dispensation of Establishment.
From that time to death is the Dispensation to Give Back.

Currently, the majority of the people in my stake are in the 15-35 year range. Each of us making decisions. Some are those are huge decisions like deciding a major, a career, where to live, whom to marry for eternity, etc. It can be extremely stressful to make such a decision that would change your life forever. How do you make such an important decision?

Your Next Best 2 Years

This last weekend was a great one with stake conference. I had so many moments and inspiration that it'll take a few posts to organize it all. I'll begin with the topic: Your Next Best 2 Years.

I have a brother currently serving a mission. I have many friends currently serving missions. Many are coming home this year while many others have just left. I have many more friends who have returned from missions, and I'm engaged to one of them. When the topic of "The Next Best 2 Years" was discussed, I really listened to the words he had to say as well as what I can do.

I've never served a mission. When I was a child I wanted to because my mother served. Then for a long time I didn't. However, last year I was listening to a devotional or a CES fireside, or something, and I felt that I should begin preparing. I was turning 21 in a year and a half. For young women, 21 is the minimum age to serve a mission. I learned that preparing for marriage and preparing for the mission are the same thing. If I had neared by 21st birthday with no one in my life, then I was going to serve. If there was someone, then I wasn't. Elder Richard G. Scott quoted council from the First Presidency:

"'Worthy single women ages twenty-one and older … may be recommended to serve full-time missions. … These sisters can make a valuable contribution … , but they should not be pressured to serve. Bishops should not recommend them for missionary service if it will interfere with imminent marriage prospects'” ("Now Is the Time to Serve a Mission").

Funnily enough, once I made this decision and moved forward, I met my fiancé. But that's a different story.

Sisters' Shared Lessons

Question to the missionaries: "What are some of the lessons you have learned?"

I've asked this question of a lot of individuals currently serving a mission, and last month I shared an Elder's response. Today, I had lessons learned from sister missionaries.

A sister, who has just recently started serving in Arizona, said:

"Some lessons I've learned...? A lot of 'Christians' aren't very 'Christian'; shoe tan lines are cool; You can get along with anyone if you love them; Home is the closet thing to heaven on Earth; your parents really do know everything; and you can answer any question with a scripture. :) How's that?"

Another sister, who is soon coming home after serving in Michigan, said:

1. The Worth of a Soul is Great in the sight of God.
2. The Atonement covers all pain and infirmity.
3. I can be good at repenting, forgiving, and praying while on this earth.
4. The scriptures heal a wounded soul. Jacob 2:8.
5. No matter what, put God first.
6. Exercise daily, you get fat!
7. Loving a person is easier for me than a lot of other missionaries I have served with.
8. Service will keep a person repentant and humble. But it's not convenient.
9. It is a choice to be positive or negative; Choose the first.
10. The Gospel is Restored, no doubt about it. So share it!

Often we think of writing missionaries as a way of serving them, and it is! However, we also have to recognize how they bless us in return. Write a missionary. Ask them questions that you really want to know the answers to. When and if they have the time to write back, their words could strengthen your own testimony, especially when taken into action. Please remember all those missionaries serving the Lord in your prayers. They'll appreciate it.

Domains of Child Development

This semester I am taking a Child Development class for my Marriage and Family Studies major. I'll be learning a lot in the class and I hope to be able to post some of the more interesting things I've learned.

There are three domains of child development that we have gone over:

1. Biosocial Development – includes all the growth and change that occur in a person's body and the genetic, nutritional and health factors that affect growth and change.
2. Cognitive Development – includes all the mental processes that a person uses to obtain knowledge or to think about the environment (perception, imagination, judgment, memory, language).
3. Psychosocial Development – includes development of emotions, temperament and social skills.

Why Rexburg Hates My Roommate

For the past 12 or so hours, I've only had one roommate still here. All the others have left because their finals are over. This particular roommate's name is Brianne and I'm posting all of this with her full permission, just so you are aware. She was done with school on Wednesday. She hasn't left yet because she is driving a carload of people back to Washington today. Hopefully. If nothing else goes wrong.

Because yesterday was a gloriously beautiful spring day, she washed her car. Washed it, and then was telling us not to get it dirty. We were even teasing her in saying that a flock of birds were going to fly right over her car before she leaves on her trip, messing it up horridly. She couldn't bare thinking about it.

This morning, I'm sitting on our couch with the blinds open letting in the sunlight that reflected off the snow on the ground, the snow falling from the sky and being blown anywhere but down. My roommate wakes up, passes the living room, then comes back, points and says, "AH!!!!!!" I seriously had a vision that a giant animal was in our apartment going to eat us all by her reaction. So I jumped, but didn't see anything. Turns out she was pointing out the window. It was snowing.