A Girl's Lesson: The Worth of Men

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Female and Male. I'm an advocate for both. I believe in equal opportunity and being equal in our differences. We are all God's children and posses our individual right to choose good from bad; as such, we are all equal before God regardless of gender, of physical or mental difficulties, of nationality, of heritage, etc.

Men are taught to respect women, to charish them, to protect them. Many people of the world, sadly, think that such a man who takes his divine responsibilities seriously–presiding in love and righteousness  and providing the necessities of life and protection–are rare. They think that men who are courteous and kind, helpful and serviceable are either trying to be self-serving or deceiving. I want to share with you that I have met men who are genuinely caring, sacrificing, and responsible.


Men are taught these great qualities; of course, all men have the choice to do good or not. I'm not saying all men are good. But not all women are good either. People make mistakes; but people can change.

I believe that women should receive similar lessons on how to treat men.

In a previous post, "Date: It's Important," I mentioned how men practice and develop these qualities through dating. While women practice the skill they've been blessed with; nurturing.

When I chat with my girl friends, I've realized that men are getting a beating. Good men being good men don't defend themselves because they have been taught that the girl is always right, respect women, men are to be emotionally tough and strong, etc. But men are people. Men have emotions. Men can be hurt emotionally and women know how to hit the core of the person emotionally to cause the most hurt. Women need to be nurturing men to help them fulfill their potential.

Women shouldn't be degrading men; women should build helping to shape great men. Women shouldn't be calling men idiots; women should be pointing out ways in which they are smart. Women shouldn't be telling men they don't help; women should be complementing them for the specific things they do help with.

Women should realize that men like to fix things. Men should be complemented for doing their best to fix something.

If I were to ask my husband to help me, he'd immediately get up to help. He likes to be appreciated for what he can do. Just like every person. But if I were to ask for help and he did help, but not how I wanted, it's on me. I need to learn that my husband cannot read my mind. If I want help with something specifically, I ask for help with that thing specifically. For example, if I said "Can you help me get out the laundry while I put the dishes away?" He'd help with the laundry, just what I needed help with. If I said, "Can you help me while I put the dishes away?" He'd probably come and help me with the dishes, where I may not have needed help. If I had said the second one, and then I get mad at him for helping in a way I didn't want help, then he wouldn't feel like helping next time. However, if I had still asked him the second question, and I respond with appreciation, then he'd be more likely to help in the future. While yes, he has a choice to help when I ask or not, I have a choice to choose how and what I ask.

Women and even men forget that women have a responsibility too. Everything cannot be blamed on the men. The women need to woman-up; whether a friend, a girlfriend, a wife. Women should be nurturing men. Men who are cared for, who are nurtured, have a greater chance of being great men. In a marriage, husband and wife are equal partners. We are blessed with separate strengths, but we are equally partners. Both husband and wife have a responsibility to their relationship.

I am not negating people of their agency. Men and women both can choose good or bad. I'm just hoping to remind men and women to choose to look at the positive, to stop tearing each other down, to begin building each other up.

President Thomas S. Monson said:

Your wife is your equal. In marriage neither partner is superior nor inferior to the other. You walk side by side as a son and a daughter of God. She is not to be demeaned or insulted but should be respected and loved. Said President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Any man in this Church who … exercises unrighteous dominion over [his wife] is unworthy to hold the priesthood. Though he may have been ordained, the heavens will withdraw, the Spirit of the Lord will be grieved, and it will be amen to the authority of the priesthood of that man.” 

President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” I like that. “The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success” ("Priesthood Power").

If you want to read another post about men read "Fatherhood: Synthesis of Guidelines."