I am taking a nursing classes. Not just any nursing class. But a Family Skills Nursing class. Why? Well, the Family Skills Nursing class are for those who want to learn about being healthy and taking care of different issues, but for those who are not majoring in nursing. Which is entirely me. Nursing is something I would just like to know so I can help my self and family, not to pass a test and become an actual nurse. That takes a lot more concentration and skills then I posses. It's also not quite what I'm looking for in my life. But I certainly am glad that so many people wish to become nurses. In any case, this particular class is on woman's health. Teaching me how to be healthy and solve problems and signs and such...
Well, one day we learned about Stress. We were given some papers to tell us how to better manage stress. This is what it says, and as it came from my nursing class it's totally legit. :P
Ways to Cope with Stress
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once.
2. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
3. When someone says, "Have a nice day!" tell them you have other plans.
4. Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
5. Put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong.
6. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
7. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
8. Drive to work in reverse.
9. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
10. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
11. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they are in jail.
12. Make up a new language and ask people for directions.
13. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper.
Thoughts to Get You Through Almost ANY Crisis
1. All thing being equal, fat people use more soap.
2. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
3. Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
4. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
5. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
6. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
7. Happiness is merely the brief remission of pain.
8. I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
9. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
10. If you ever find something you like, buy a lifetime supply because they will stop making it.
11. If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
12. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
13. Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
14. One seventh of your days are spent on Mondays.
15. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
16. The facts, although altogether interesting, are irrelevant.
17. The more you run over a dead cat the thinner it gets.
18. The other line always moves faster until you get into it.
19. The world gets a little better every day, and worse in the evening.
20. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of talent.
21. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
22. To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
23. This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
24. Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
25. He who steals my purse is trash!
Stress Diet
Breakfast:
1/2 Grapefruit
1 slice Whole Wheat Toast
8 oz. Skim Milk
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
Herb Tea
Mid-Afternoon Snack:
Rest of the package of Oreos
Large Pepperoni and Mushroom Pizza
3 Milky Way Candy Bars
Entire frozen Cheese Cake east directly from the freezer
Diet Tips
1. If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
4. If you fatten up everyone else around you - then you look thinner.
I hope that just by reading them, and not necessarily doing all the them, you are a bit less stressed and laughter was brought into your day!
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
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