My greatest fears and worries are not being able to have children, having miscarriages and stillbirths, and experiencing a death of a child. I believe those are worries all potential mothers have. I'm surrounded by young couples who are building and strengthening their marriage, pregnant, and with children. However, there are several who have, at this young age, suffered loss of children already.
What comfort can we receive and give to those that worry about and experience such a terrible loss?
Plan of Salvation
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| Source: All Things Bright and Beautiful |
God has a plan for us. Being God's children, He wants us to live up to our full potential and "realize [our] divine destiny as heirs of eternal life" ("The Family: The Proclamation to the World"). We lived before we were born in this mortal world. We all will live again after death. "The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave" ("The Family: The Proclamation to the World"). This plan, also known as the Plan of Happiness, has the goal of His children gaining a physical body and to develop and be tried and tested so we can return to God with our families forever. The diagram shows an outline of the plan. To read in greater detail more about the Plan of Salvation, you can go to Mormon.org or LDS.org.
The Atonement
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| Jesus Praying in Gethsemane |
Our Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us. Alma 7:11-13 reads:
And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.Christ's atonement for us accomplishes several things. First, it allows Him to strengthen us in unimaginable ways. He can help us overcome grief and suffering. He can comfort us in times of need. He knows how to succor His people. He took upon Himself all of our pain and suffering. Second, it allows us the opportunity to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father and overcome spiritual death if we turn to God in repentance. Third, it allowed Him to take upon Him death so that we all can be resurrected. This negates the false doctrine of original sin which is "that the sin of Adam passes upon all men and that, therefore, all men–infants included–must be baptized to be saved" (McConkie). Moses 6:54 reads: "The Son of God hath atoned for original guilt, wherein the sins of the parents cannot be answered upon the heads of the children, for they are whole from the foundation of the world."
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.
Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.
Infant Baptism
Elder McConkie spoke very solemnly on this topic:
Few false doctrines have ever deserved and received such a vigorous and forceful denunciation as that heaped upon infant baptism by the prophet Mormon. When that inspired author inquired of the Lord concerning the baptism of little children, he was told: “Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them.”The atonement caused little children to have a special status to never need baptism in order to be saved in the highest degree in the celestial kingdom, "because all children who die before the age of accountability are pure, innocent, and wholly sin-free" (Lybbert).
Thereupon Mormon, speaking by the power of the Holy Ghost, taught that “it is solemn mockery” to baptize little children; that they “are alive in Christ from the foundation of the world”; that it is awful wickedness to deny the pure mercies of Christ to them; that such a belief sets at naught the power of Christ’s redemption; that those who believe such a false concept are “in the bonds of iniquity” and if cut off while in the thought shall be thrust down to hell; and that those who humble themselves and repent and are baptized shall “be saved with their little children.” (Moroni 8:8-25.)
How did the practice of infant baptism start then? "Men no longer understood the atonement" (McConkie). This is why it is so important to study the truths of the gospel as revealed by God.
Children's Special Status
Little children are "pure, innocent, and wholly sin-free" as previously mentioned because they are "alive in Christ" (Lybbert; Moroni 8:12). Those little children who die before the age of accountability have a spot saved for them in celestial kingdom. Not only that, but they will have eternal life; they will have exaltation. Elder McConkie quotes President Joseph Fielding Smith in saying:
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| Christ and Children from around the World |
"The Lord will grant unto these children the privilege of all the sealing blessings which pertain to the exaltation. We were all mature spirits before we were born, and the bodies of little children will grow after the resurrection to the full stature of the spirit, and all the blessings will be theirs through their obedience, the same as if they had lived to maturity and received them on the earth. The Lord is just and will not deprive any person of a blessing, simply because he dies before that blessing can be received. It would be manifestly unfair to deprive a little child of the privilege of receiving all the blessings of exaltation in the world to come simply because it died in infancy. … Children who die in childhood will not be deprived of any blessing. When they grow, after the resurrection, to the full maturity of the spirit, they will be entitled to all the blessings which they would have been entitled to had they been privileged to tarry here and receive them.”They will marry and live in a family unit. They have a special place in God's plan.
Why do some children die and others live? Are those who die better off than those who remain in mortality?
This is a question that we ponder when a child is lost. Elder McConkie said:
We may rest assured that all things are controlled and governed by Him whose spirit children we are. He knows the end from the beginning, and he provides for each of us the testings and trials which he knows we need. President Joseph Fielding Smith once told me that we must assume that the Lord knows and arranges beforehand who shall be taken in infancy and who shall remain on earth to undergo whatever tests are needed in their cases. This accords with Joseph Smith’s statement: “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth.” (Teachings, pp. 196–97.) It is implicit in the whole scheme of things that those of us who have arrived at the years of accountability need the tests and trials to which we are subject and that our problem is to overcome the world and attain that spotless and pure state which little children already possess.Our Heavenly Father has a plan for us as His children and for us as individuals. He knows. Joseph Smith said:
Why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.
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| The Second Coming |
- Please know that grief is the natural by-product of love.
- Do not ever doubt the goodness of God, even if you do not know "why."
Have faith. Gain and build your testimony of the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement. Know that "they are only absent for a moment. They are in the spirit, and we shall soon meet again. The time will soon arrive when the trumpet shall sound" (Joseph Smith). Don't focus so much on the why of things. It is natural to ask, but don't let it create doubt and fear. Keep to the covenants and obedience to God, then you will be able to have your children for eternity. You will have your little child again. Don't doubt.
"Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope" (Joseph Smith). We have hope. We have the hope that our Savior gives us through His atonement that made the Plan of Happiness possible.
Responsibility to our children
We are to teach and guide our children on the path of happiness to return to Heavenly Father. "Our appointment is to bring them up in light and truth so they will qualify to return to his Eternal Presence" (McConkie). Because of the special status of children, they cannot be tempted by Satan until the age of accountability.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World mentions the responsibilities of parents and families. One particular phrase reads, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."
We have only a few years to give them a solid foundation in the gospel before Satan can tempt them. Elder Lybbert said:
This teaching is to be done before a child reaches the age of accountability, and while innocent and sin-free. This is protected time for parents to teach the principles and ordinances of salvation to their children without interference from Satan. It is a time to dress them in armor in preparation for the battle against sin. When this preparation time is neglected, they are left vulnerable to the enemy. To permit a child to enter into that period of his life when he will be buffeted and tempted by the evil one, without faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and an understanding of the basic principles of the gospel, is to set him adrift in a world of wickedness.
We are to give our children the tools they'll need in order to return to our Heavenly Father. We are to have family scripture study, family prayer, family home evening, attend church, give good examples, etc.
What, then, of this glorious doctrine concerning the salvation of children?
Knowing this doctrine can give us comfort when we worry or fear or experience a loss of a child. Joseph Smith said:
The expectation of seeing my friends in the morning of the resurrection cheers my soul and makes me bear up against the evils of life. It is like their taking a long journey, and on their return we meet them with increased joy.Elder Bowen said of the loss of his own child:
As I felt the guilt, anger, and self-pity trying to consume me, I prayed that my heart could change. Through very personal sacred experiences, the Lord gave me a new heart, and even though it was still lonely and painful, my whole outlook changed. I was given to know that I had not been robbed but rather that there was a great blessing awaiting me if I would prove faithful.Knowing of the doctrine of the salvation of little children helps us to look forward. It helps us to not "mourn as those without hope" (Joseph Smith). Elder Bowen also said, "The truth is, you will never completely get over it until you are together once again with your departed loved ones. I will never have a fulness of joy until we are reunited in the morning of the First Resurrection." That is what we have to look forward to: the morning of the First Resurrection when we will all be together again.
My life started to change, and I was able to look forward with hope, rather than look backward with despair.
Elder Bowen said, "I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy."
To end with the words of Wilford Woodruff, "This, to Latter-day Saints, who believe in the resurrection, should be a source of comfort and consolation."
References that you should definitely read
- Bowen, Shayne M. "'Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also.'" Ensign, Nov 2012.
- "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 1995.
- Lybbert, Merlin R. "The Special Status of Children." Ensign, May 1994.
- McConkie, Bruce R. "The Salvation of Little Children." Ensign, Apr 1977.
- "Understanding Death and Resurrection." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Wilford Woodruff. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
- Wickman, Lance B. "But If Not." Ensign, Nov 2002.
- "Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joesph Smith. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2011.
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