Date: Love Map 20 Questions Game

As a Marriage and Family Studies Major, we study dating, marriage, and families a lot. As such, I end up taking a lot of classes with the titles of "Family Stress and Coping" or "Parenting" and even "Family Theories and Dynamics." This semester I'm taking a class entitled "Marriage." One of the reading materials for the class is John M. Gottman's (and Nan Silver's) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert.

I truly love this book. The basic premis is that a successful marriage should be based on a foundation of friendship. With that in mind, the books has seven principles to strengthen that friendship; things married couples should do.

At the end of the chapter, the book has certain activities (exercises) for couples to do together that would strengthen the underlined friendship. They're perfect things to do on a date.

The first is: Love Map 20 Questions Game. As a couple, you can do this during your date. It's so the couple can get to know each other better. People change. If you're not paying attention you could find yourself married to a stranger. This game helps you so you can always be updated with each other.


Directions: You choose 20 numbers between 1 and 66 and write them down on a pice of paper (your spouse or date does the same). Next, you match each number with it's question. After exchanging papers, you ask your date the first question on the list. If your date is right (according to you), then he'll get the points for it that are in the parentheses next to the question. Then your date asks you the first question from your list and if he says it's right then you get the points next to it. You continue to alternate the asking and answering. At the end, whoever as the most points wins.

The Questions:

1. Name my two closet friends? (2)
2. What is my favorite musical group, composer, or instrument? (2)
3. What was I wearing when we first met? (2)
4. Name one of my hobbies. (3)
5. Where was I born? (1)
6. What stresses am I facing right now? (6)
7. Describe in detail what I did today, or yesterday. (4)
8. When is my birthday? (1)
9. What is the date of our anniversary? (1)
10. Who is my favorite relative? (2)
11. What is my fondest unrealized dream? (5)
12. What is my favorite flower? (2)
13. What is one of my greatest fears or disaster scenarios? (3)
14. What is my favorite time of day for lovemaking? (3)
15. What makes me feel most competent? (4)
16. What turns me on sexually? (3)
17. What is my favorite meal? (2)
18. What is my favorite way to spend an evening?
19. What is my favorite color? (1)
20. What personal improvements do I want to make in my life? (4)
21. What kind of present would I like best? (2)
22. What was one of my best childhood experiences? (2)
23. What was my favorite vacation? (2)
24. What is one of my favorite ways to be soothed? (4)
25. Who is my greatest source of support (other than you)? (3)
26. What is my favorite sport? (2)
27. What do I most like to do with time off? (2)
28. What is one of my favorite weekend activities? (2)
29. What is my favorite getaway place? (3)
30. What is my favorite movie? (2)
31. What are some of the important events coming up in my life? How do I feel about them? (4)
32. What are some of my favorite ways to work out? (2)
33. Who was my best friend in childhood? (3)
34. What is one of my favorite magazines? (2)
35. Name one of my major rivals or “enemies.” (3)
36. What would I consider my ideal job? (4)
37. What do I fear the most? (4)
38. Who is my least favorite relative? (3)
39. What is my favorite holiday? (2)
40. What kinds of books do I most like to read? (3)
41. What is my favorite TV show? (2)
42. Which side of the bed do I prefer? (2)
43. What am I most sad about? (4)
44. Name one of my concerns or worries. (4)
45. What medical problems do I worry about? (2)
46. What was my most embarrassing moment? (3)
47. What was my worst childhood experience? (3)
48. Name two of the people I most admire. (4)
49. Name my major rival or enemy. (3)
50. Of all the people we both know, who do I like the least? (3)
51. What is one of my favorite desserts? (2)
52. What is my social security number? (2)
53. Name one of my favorite novels. (2)
54. What is my favorite restaurant? (2)
55. What are two of my aspirations, hopes, wishes? (4)
56. Do I have a secret ambition? What is it? (4)
57. What foods do I hate? (2)
58. What is my favorite animal? (2)
59. What is my favorite song? (2)
60. Which sports team is my favorite? (2)
61. What did I think about you when we first met? (4)
62. When did we have our first kiss? (1)
63. How many kids do I want to have? (3)
64. Do I prefer flowers or candy? (2)
65. What do I fear most? (4)
66. What is my fondest unrealized dream? (4)

More about the Love Map 20 Questions Game can be read here. More about Gottman and his institute can be found here.