Things to Smile About

I was at the McKay Library this morning and I found a well worn thick little red book entitled Lengthen Your Smile. Its by Robert Nash and published in 1996. It looked interesting so I picked it up and checked it out. To my unexpected amusement I discovered that the book contains short stories for a Latter-day Saint for every day of the year but Leap Day. I randomly opened to a page, read, and then started laughing. Here are some of the stories and the day it is to coincide with (not that the day matters, but just incase you want to look for yourself sometime):

April 21
"Four Religious Myths:
1. It's easy op get credit for doing good, but hard to get cash.
2. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.
3. The fifth commandment is 'Humor thy father and mother.'
4. It's hard to hear anything in church because the agnostics are so terrible."


May 15
"A Poem quoted by author Alma Heaton probably contains some good advice for young men and young women:

Before I heard the doctors tell
The danger of a kiss,
I had considered kissing you
The nearest thing to bliss

But now I know biology
I sit and sigh and moan,
Six million mad bacteria
And I thought we were alone."

June 2
"Spencer W. Kimball told the story of a young Mormon soldier in World War II who wore both a standard wristwatch and an older, larger pocket watch. His buddies noticed him regularly looking at both watches, and asked why he checked the time twice.
'The wristwatch tells me the time here where we are, but the big watch Pa gave me tells me the time it is in Utah,' said the soldier. 'When the big watch says 5:00 A.M., I know dad is rolling out to milk the cows. And any night when it says 7:30, I know the whole family is around a well-spread table on their knees thanking the Lord for what's on the table and asking him to watch over me and keep me clean and honorable.
'It's those things that make me want to fight when the going gets tough,' said the young man. 'I can find out what time it is here easy enough. What I want to know is what time it is in Utah.' "

June 5
"Just when you think you've escaped pride . . .
A Sunday School teacher gave a lesson about the arrogant Pharisee who prayed in the temple next to the humble publican and expressed thanks to the Lord that he wasn't like his prayer-mate. The publican, meanwhile, bowed his head and smote his breast and asked the Lord to forgive him for his sins.
The Sunday School teacher's suggestion? The members of the class should all thank God they were not like that Pharisee!"

July 23
"A rancher in Kamas, at the base of Utah's Uinta mountains, decided he wanted to sell his ranch. He hired a real estate agent, who came out to inspect his property and write up an ad.
Later the realtor called the rancher to go over the ad copy with him before placing it in the paper. 'For sale,' read the realtor, 'Picturesque white frame ranch house with white picket fence and eighty acres of rich farmland in the middle of beautiful Kamas Valley. Clear streams of mountain water flow nearby, well-stocked with rainbow trout. House faces rugged mountain peaks and is located in a small, friendly farming community with good schools and a new church.'
'Stop!' said the rancher. 'The deal's off! This is the kind of place I've wanted all my life!'
The moral: 'Hold fast to the blessings which God has provided for you,' said J. Reuben Clark. 'Yours is not the task to gain them. They are here; yours is the part of cherishing them.' "

August 26
"A positive mental attitude is important - and so is a firm grip on reality. Charles Ora Card was called by President John Taylor to build a Mormon settlement in western Canada in 1887. The town he founded - Cardston, in the province of Alberta - became a wonderful settlement, but on the high Canadian plains, it was wind-swept and cold.
One gusty, frigid morning, Brother Card was walking to Church with his father. 'Isn't the air fresh and invigorating?' he asked.
'Yes,' said the father, 'and isn't there a lot of it?' "

October 19
"Lucile C. Reading, a former counselor in the general Primary presidency and managing editor of The Friend magazine, illustrated her belief in the joys of work with a story about Thomas Edison.
Edison's wife worried her husband was working too hard and encouraged him to take a vacation.
'But where would I go? asked the inventor.
'Just decide where you'd rather be than anywhere else on the earth, and then go there,' Mrs. Edison advised.
Her husband agreed. 'Very well,' he said. 'I will go there tomorrow.'
The next morning found him right back in his laboratory."

December 15
"Parents: If you ever wonder whether or not you have an influence on your children, remember the story of a father who took his three young sons on a summertime trip to Yellowstone Park. Upon their return, they dropped by Grandma's to report their adventures. And the first thing out of their mouths? They didn't describe the bears, geysers, elk, moose, hot pots, mountains, fish, rivers, or lakes. 'Grandma!' they said, 'Daddy got a ticket for speeding!'

I would highly recommend this little book to everyone and anyone. Although, I think that with most of them your probably going to have to be LDS to really understand. Otherwise your going to think we are a bit peculiar. In which you would be entirely right.